:: new version ::

ive passed the 100days. alhamdulillah.
i am proud of myself, im literally giving myself a pat on the back. haha.
i still get questions like "this is for real ke babe?" ...and now, i can answer "it's been more than a 100days so im pretty sure, yes...it's for real"

you can ask Sue, how much i wanted to berhijab many years back. even before i was with LVDV. but never kuat hati to do so. so along the years, the closest i am to a hijab is kumpul segala tudung mak nenek in a box with an imaginary label ~ to wear one day nanti. even back then, my sisters knew i already pasang niat but they always give me advice; if belom ready tak payah lagi kak nya. I've probably heard this sentence like over 500 times. both of my sisters, started berhijab when i was still in short skirts dresses. i supported them and over the years, i watched how they've evolve becoming such pretty hijabis. dalam hati berbisik, bestnya macam nak jugak. but although im a risk taker, this risk wasn't something i wanted to do half-heartedly. i wasn't ready.

u know how me and my sisters always do stuffs together. we share almost everything together. from shoes to handbags to accessories to clothes. but suddenly, i couldn't fit in sharing shawl tutorials conversations or discussing on what color of shawl to match with which jubah or why does this shawl terletak and this shawl doesn't..yadaa yadaa yadaa. sometimes ill be like, helloooo can we go back talking about that handbag instead of shawl nealofar or cakenis or tudung people....*rolling eyes*

suddenly earlier this year, my sister Tia said; Kak Nya, ko start la berhijab. you will still be you, just lebih baik kita jaga aurat. i was not offended at all. i was like...i dunno what i was like. but that statement was stuck in my head for days, okay kidding. weeks actually.

and there were days i was judgemental when reading stuffs about how some celebrities (and friends) dah berhijab pastu free hair balik. made me more cautious in deciding when will i ever find the courage to or will i ever be like them also nanti? what if my iman is nipis too? scary weh!!! i pray to God, mintak-mintaklah diri ni istiqomah, walau macamana susah pon. aamiin. im sorry i judge, but it's more a sedar-diri moment for myself.

one close friend asked me my reasons, i told her in private. and she said; babe, to me. that just means u love your parents not only kat dunia. also in akhirat. terus bergenang airmata aku. didnt cry sebab we were in Starbucks. ramai orang weh. but no one has ever said that to me.

it wasn't just because i wanted to berhijab. my goal is to become a better version of myself. a better muslimah. inshaaAllah. and although selama ni i keep thinking, u know kalau nak berhijab u gotta make sure u diligently not miss your prayers n all. pffts...i was wrong guys. it's not about kalau nak, it's about bila sudah..MasyaAllah. bila sudah, everything just falls into place. bila sudah, i had time to do banyak benda yang dulu2 i never even think of doing. subhanaAllah. i learn to love life even more. don't get me wrong, im still the same person, it's just that i've evolved to a newer version. i feel like ive upgraded myself in some ways dengan izin-Nya. And for that i am very much grateful. very. very. very grateful. Terima kasih, Ya Allah.

i know, i have a very long journey to go before i reach my ultimate destination. but i believe, He is always with me along the way. together with the people i love and those who loves me. by the way, first day had me 2 jam setengah nak lilit the shawls ye...LVDV made fun of me the first 2 weeks. but after berpuluh tutorial videos (some from my 2 sisters too, gigih siot) i think im getting pretty good at it. no more 2 jam setengah. now, setengah jam je. -____-"

hi. it's just me.

:: ty neyyy ::

im usually known as Aunty Meow to kids. well, not my kids. my sister's kids and anak-anak kawan-kawan yang lain. mainly it's because im known to have a house full of cats and i love giving kitty-soft toys as their 1st pressie from me. so yeah, im Aunty Meow. 

my two nephews, Afif Aydin and Afkar Amzar (also known as AAboiis in the family) had no problem at all calling me Aunty Meow since they were babies. it just fits you know. but then, came little pwincess niece Asha Ana Tiara.....and she keeps calling me, 

"ty neyyyy!" >>> AUNTY NENNY! 

i gasp! No Asha! No! Aunty Meow, say Aunty Meow. "ty neyyy!" #facepalm..at times i feel like singing 'i-got-it-from-my-momma' song u know. it's pretty normal for some people (yang rabun maybe) to say i look like my mom but little niece ACTUALLY stating the obvious is too much man. no matter how many times u correct her, is kenot.

i gave her a nickname Tijah Junior sebab she is totally like arwah nenek. muka, rambut, perangai semua. and her nicknaming me is her revenge i think. haha. 

ever since i started to wear hijab, she no longer acknowledge me as Aunty Meow. im guessing it's because i wear mama's tudung most of the time when i see her. so she gets Nenny Jey's aura probably. pffts. really Asha? i dont even wear the same style as Nenny la kenit oiii...tsk!tsk!

despite her calling you whatever she thinks of, you will also find yourself singing to Disney princess songs somehow. LOL. habis data aku bukak youtube sing-a-long to Princess Elsa, Moana, Rapunzel and Belle. Even had my wordings wrong singing unplugged of Aladdin's A Whole New World, Asha didn't care at all. Janji it was a princess song ~ she is a happy baby singing a long in her own baby-words. 

but then after a while i succumbed to her. like i no longer kisah whatever she calls me cause since she's so freaking adorable at age 2, she melts my heart everytime. and when you spend time on her that much, at the end of the day you will be greeted by a sloppy and very pouty muncung panjang wanting to give u a kiss on the lips.  bukan sekali ya...tapi berkali-kali u ols! of course u cannot declined the kiss sebab selagi ko tak cium, selagi tu la muka dia ber-duck-face in your face. haha. really, so much loooooveeeeeeee la tis lil one! 

but seriously guys, look. i dont look like Nenny kan?

:: slowly but surely ::

so, i've been busy guys. for the past 7 months, i've been busy. so busy i feel like slapping myself after realizing my last post was early this year. now, it's 3 months away from new year. errr...i guess the best thing to say is, look how time flies when you have a life kan? #facepalm. 

but truth to be told, im hardly "online" anymore. on social media. on whatsapp aku sentiasa online. that's more for work. on average probably, 3 bulan sekali update status on fb, seminggu skali update instagram and selang sehari im on twitter. look how bersawang my blog is? gosh! adakah ini faktor umur? or dah berjangkit from LVDV? dia memang couldn't be bothered with all this stuffs at all. i dunno. 

but one thing for sure, im not the same person anymore. online that is. i carefully pick my words nowadays for my captions and statuses. i also carefully choose the pictures of who's who i wanna post online. kalau dulu hentam je, tak pikir. now, not all pictures i post even-though i want to. walaupon those pics are pretty nice. sound kedekut much kan? but when you've read about this thing called 'evil-eye', trust me u will think twice. 

however i miss blogging. at one time i used to blog almost every week. i reaaaaaallllllyyyyy should get back to it. let's hope and pray i will. bhahahaha. actually, so many things to share about. i  mean, this year has been cray-cray! so many things happen, so many changes took place. nak start cerita daripada mana pon tengah still pikir. slowly but surely soon. 

for starters, let's just say...assalam everyone, im back! ;)

:: kangkang layu? ::

"kangkang dah layu?"
I stared at the sentence. Re-reading it a few times trying to figure out.
I asked and burst into laughter for about 3 minutes straight.
While replying i was still laughing my ass off.
Tia was in Sydney you see. She's like 3hours ahead of us in MY. it's actually pretty normal for us to have late night talks like this but selalunya dia bau bangun and is waiting for Subuh. This time dia baru nak tido. I suspect dia ngantok teroks tapi but she can't seem to sleep. I was pretty much still awake doing some work while trying to win over level 575 Candy Crush Saga.

We continued texting after that but in between minutes i still LOL-ed. Too funy at that our of the day. It's either typo sebab jari Tia tembam naw or she was actually quite mamai or it was the damn auto-correct. Hahaha. I didn't even bothered to ask. Too busy mengekek tak hengat. Hahahaha. 

Thank goodness our other T sister was asleep. Kalau tak mesti kene bahan seminggu. Hahahaha. Next time let's just voicenote eh? 

Sorry Ya, i just had to blog this. Gonna read it back to your kids in the future. You know..."Mak korang dulu burung hantu slalu tido lambat sampai tertypo kangkung jadi kangkang. Hahahaha..Aunty Meow had one of the best laugh ever sampai senak perut. Hahahahaha"
Ironically, the letter A and U is not even next to each other weh!

:: #moviereview La La Land ::

The hype was over. Actually we couldn't find any time to go and watch it. Until both lil brothers gave their reviews about the movie, I just had to go jugak-jugak and watch it at the cinema. Loved. Every. Second. Of. It.

It wasn't like any other love story. It was deeper than that. For me.

There was Sebastian (Ryan Gosling) and Mia (Emma Stone) who kept on bumping into each other lives on different accasions. Dua2 pon confident level tinggi they wouldn't "like" one another. But orang kata, kalau jodoh tak ke mana...they did. There u go, that scene alone had me rolling tears down my cheeks. It didn't make sense (to some people) how flying in between stars and dancing around in the clouds potrayed as falling in love but for me, it did. Yes, im a sucker for that kind of love. Haha. So, then life took over and both had dreams that they wanted to achieve. But life isn't always like we planned it to be. Dreams became just working for a living and love became just being in a relationship. Drifted away and in the end it was over.

For those yang belom tengok yet, let me tell you the last 20 minutes was crucial. Do not move and just sink in. I cried my mascara off ...no kidding. And my sobs lasted sampai habis ending credit sampai jalan ke luar hall. Omg, it was so relatable i couldn't explain it. My eyes were on the screen but my head was having some major life throwbacks. I knew I didn't cry because Mia married someone else. I knew I didn't cry because Sebastian's dream to save Jazz music came true. But i cried because of the choices they both took and how life would have became different it they chose the other option. Superb ending of a concept redha. It is haunting me la weh!

Can't help but to make me wonder, what if once upon a time ago i choose differently? Would have i regretted it? It's not my thing to look back at life but there are some days you gotta take a peek just as a reminder. The hurt, the scars, the words, the looks, the emotions, the whatever you faced to be who you are today. And after all that, if you can still manage to smile a little that's where u know, you're okay and life must go on.

The OST takyah cakap la...best giler! I never knew Emma Stone could sing. Hehe. And hello, they had John Legend too. What's not to love when he sings aight?

So this is a must watch under #LuvtanyaLovedThis movies list. Boleh ke bagi 100 bintang? Haha. I can't wait to repeat it again....jom?