:: 25th Nov ::

this year 25th Nov was a bit quiet i must say. a few days earlier there was a request for it to consist only 'YOU&ME' ...aiyaaaaa. habis plan aku. *tepukdahi* but i calmly replied with a smile. of course. what else. i almost blurted the whining "but whyyyyyyyyyy" gesture. u know, with addition of battling eyelashes and all. but that didnt happen either. with all the seriousness in the voice-tone and all. smile Tania. smile. and say, 'okay'.

and the day went by as smooth as ever. quiet and smooth. total quality time together which i think it was due to perubahan umur or something. but amazingly, i think it was all that we needed. that time. that moment. that togetherness. that love. that understanding. that we are looking forward to more quiet birthdays celebrations together. we have each other and that is all. 

cliche giler tak? 
memang. but so what? it's true. paling awesome, i got a million of thank yous after that. and THAT was all what i needed. :) ..and owh, Happy Bestday Kamoo! #muahciked

:: bongoks giler ::

u know what makes me smile? having a bestlovefriend like Sue. 
she posted this on my FB wall recently...

i love you mucho too babe!

sweet kan?
me and her, we've shared a million stories i think. if not maybe more. some sad ones, some happy ones, some angry ones, some disgusted ones, some over the top ones and some totally P&C ones. talking to her eases my soul. keeps me sane. she never says what i wanna hear (typical scorpio). kalo ada pon, that's totally courtesy je untuk sedapkan hati aku 5minit pastu sebijik setepet dia kasi. huwaaa. nevertheless, i  still love her mucho!

then i felt anxious. if she posted this which obviously with the help of FB memories reminder, mana reminder aku wehh?!?!? i waited. and waited. and waited.
wtf?!?! bongoks giler.
dalam banyak2 pictures, they just had to compile this one?!?!
nak kene carut ke cemana FB reminder nie?


dont ask. okbai,

*vomits rainbow*

:: i forgot to say goodbye ::

usually, she will wait. she will always be there when i get home. but ive been home for almost a month now. batang hidung dia pon tak nampak. *sigh* every day i pray she'll come home. obviously im living in denial right now because everyone in the house knows she wont. 

so i cry. quietly.  

she sits with her head up high. body solid straight. just like a tiger. hence i named her Tiger. dah la garang kemain. memang dia sepuk je sesapa yang dia tak suka. LOL. someone left her depan pintu umah in a shoe box. yes, a shoe box. kotak kasut princess if im not mistaken. i had no cat milk so i feed her with susu full cream Dutch Lady. amik kau sihat walafiat. 

she stayed with me in good times and bad times. ada extra rezeki harus i share it with her. usually on vitamins or good premium food. once or twice hantar pergi grooming, never to the vet. i told u she was sihat walafiat. not kidding wehhh...

she gave me many babies. most of them i gave away for adoption. to make other friends happy. she understood everytime i gave away her babies. ill talk to her nicely. she will just look back at me. understanding. 

sometimes i refer her to Mak Bonda. sebabnya dia macam mak kepada yang lain. any baby kitten she will feed her milk even it's not hers. lebih kurang macam aku je yang suka feed people food eventho i tak kenal. hahaha. gosh. so alike eh? and she cares macam anak sendiri. tido berpeluk kadang-kadang.

then i left for Sydney. hari yang paling kelam kabut in 2015 for me. and that was my biggest mistake. for almost 9 years having her around, that one particular day i forgot to say goodbye. im sorry Tiger.

least i know, that unspoken goodbye was a permanent one. 

and now, mommy misses u so so much... :'(

:: private ::

ive been trying to find some good topics to blog lately. kan kengkonon nak get back on track. then i realised, i have none. how weird is that? then i realised another thing, i also hardly post instagram photos too. wtf?!? what is becoming of me???

nak kata there's nothing interesting happening in my life, that will be a lie. i have stalkers and haters beb. gila kau claim cenggitu? haha. they look forward to whats happening with me. i laugh or i cry. im happy or im sad. they wanna know. eh wait, they know. stalkers kan. but that's besides the point. ive come to conclude i think ive become a private person a bit more for the past months.

ive been travelling. ive been focused on business n opportunities. ive been attending events. ive been watching movies. ive been spending time with my ohanas n my lafamilia. ive been outing with only close friends. im all the time with LVDV. and yet i dont wanna share any of it on social media that much. shessh. that's new. for me. bhahahaha.

but i think, facebook did this to me. almost EVERYONE on facebook is sharing their life online. sampai one point, im too busy reading up whatever everyone else is doing sudahnya aku sendiri malas nak share what i am doing...make sense? now dont let me start on instagram. kalau satu event one is attending and posted about 47 pictures of it...almost feels like im there u know. havent they heard of collage? what? never? okay..unfollow.

but then truth to be told, people change. ive changed. a bit more private...online. and that's okay right? so takde la rasa bersalah sangat bersawang blog aku 6 bulan. haha. i know for sure LVDV would agree on this. dia paling suka kalau orang know nothing at all. -_________-" probably jugak this is just a phase. im self-discovering. im indulging a bit too much in being just an observer kan? who knows?

:: this happens ::

what happens at 3.14am when ure still up doing some extra work?

this happens.

'a little bit of ...TWIX' katanya. im already on my third stick guys. pftts. i should be snacking on carrots right? wrong. im saving those orange-veggies for Bibit. Twix is all i have for now. buying them in K-Mart at the very last minute were meant for nights like this, right? RIGHT. 

noticed anything different? yups. just in case you're wondering, im hiding from mom. hahaha. but yeah, im not kidding. sejak dua menjak both my parents are active online. maka adalah lebih afdal neither of them should bump into my writing, and i needed something new. something to let me stay as luvtanya, therefore Loved by Luvtanya it is. :)

besides, i miss blogging. this so-called new-ish me should motivate me to get back on track. havent u noticed? my last post was in May wehhhh....it's November now for crying out loud. *tepuk dahi* where have i been? where?!?!?!?!?! 6months MIA from my own blog. apakes?

you'll probably read some throwbacks stories lepas nie. haha. u know....stories yang happened months ago. NOT kejadian semalam. it's called 'baling belakang' for a reason. not 'baling semalam'. unless you're the type who doesnt really know how to baling at all. by the way, are hashtags valid in blogging? im just curious. :P

to a much more simpler me who is not getting any younger. holla!